Scared, tired, beaten, fed up….take your pick

I’ll be honest I am scared about going back to church. Late last year I stopped going to church to try and rebuild my relationship with Christ. It was going well but over the last few weeks, it seems I’m further away than ever before. I don’t pray that often, I prefer to spend time on the XBox than read the Bible; we all need breaks but perhaps that’s now run its course and its time to change or  re-balance.

Biggest problem though is I am just sick and tired of the way some Christians treat others, in particular the LGBT community. Most recent of which is the outcry that World Vision, a charity which helps sponsor children in need, will now hire married gay Christians, to which the response of some Christians was to announce that they will no longer support them. Add to that The Gospel Coalition, of “use your gag reflex when it comes to LGBT community”, weighed in a warp speed condemning World Vision and suggesting its World Visions fault the children will now suffer as true evangelicals have to withdraw their support. It’s all the gays fault apparently.

I must have not read the part where Jesus said we are to care for the orphans and widows, unless gay people are involved. This is what Christianity and the Gospel have now become; protection of doctrine above all else, even at the expense of helping those in need. So much for love your enemies then, so much for humanity mattering. It’s a mentality that permeates Christian forums. They promise fellowship but forget to mention you have to agree to their way of thinking in order for it to be extended. I’m tired, I’m bruised and I’m ashamed to be associated with Christianity today; and I’m being told I need to be a member of a church for support when it represents this? Not a chance!! I can see why many people feel the greatest enemies to the Gospel are Christians. If only Jesus had something to say about all this – oh wait; “Whatever you did for the least of these you did for me” (Matthew 25:40)

It’s easy to focus on the negative. I found out there was people stopping supporting World Vision, via those condemning such actions. Great blog posts by people such as Nish Weiseth, Amy Mitchell, Zach Hoag, Brandon Robertson, as well Rachel Held Evans, Micah Murray and Stephanie Drury calling them out on Twitter. All articulate what I’m feeling at the moment. All of it tinged with the knowledge that they, and me, don’t want to be having to write about this anymore. The focus should be on other issues like poverty, child prostitution, abuse; pick any issue that’s affecting this world, pick any issue that would make a difference if it was fought against with the same zeal that people fight against same sex marriage. The fact this is the focus of peoples rage just gets me going all over again. Talk about it we must though, because whilst America and other countries are beginning to accept LGBT as equals, those who don’t want that are moving their campaign elsewhere. It can’t be ignored.

Maybe I can do more than use this blog to rant about how it makes me feel, I’m fully aware that these issues aren’t really about me; but isn’t expressing anger a part of standing against something? There is also the issue of what message does this send about what Christ stands for. Jason Bradley on Twitter summed it up brilliantly – “Jesus, if I didn’t love you so much, I wouldn’t want to be in your club–most of these people are crazy.” That reminded me of this:

This is why I haven’t just walked away, I love God and I can only imagine what he’s thinking of all this.

This whole debacle has brought World Vision to the attention of many, and they are beginning contributing to them to help fund their work. That’s productive and something I can do and if you would like to do the same, please visit their website. For now, I’m beating a strategic retreat into the arms of Jesus. I am the parable of the lost son.


One thought on “Scared, tired, beaten, fed up….take your pick

  1. […] and scheduling time online over doing other things like housework. This is before we add my fears about finding a church here in Slough; not just one I attend occasionally, but one that I can go to every week and settle […]

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