God did not shape me using a cookie cutter, neither did he assemble me on a robot production line. I am hand molded, hand crafted, I am a special limited edition creation; there is only one of me. If I had a label it wouldn’t say 3 billion of 7 billion, it would say one of one. I am designed, I am created, I am loved.
I have my own quirks, my own hopes dreams and desires. There are things that get me excited, that get me passionate and things that just bore me. I don’t see the world in 2 dimensions, all angles are possibilities and what appears to be going backwards is simply the same object from a different path. I am shaped by my experiences, I have scars both internal and external, God has my heart and I follow my heart.
I do not conform to this world, I do not conform to any world that involves being put in a box, there is no box that can hold me. I straddle being in this world and being of it; I don’t always feel I belong anywhere. To question is to explore, my journey has involved hurdles. Books and people who are considered heretics have helped me over those hurdles. The only regrets I have are the mistakes I have not learned from yet. I’m not even close to figuring out life, I have no chance of figuring God out.
He entrusted me with free will to choose and a mind to discern. I have issues that are shaped by my life, similar but different. Don’t give me the “in event of this, administer this passage” response. I worship to rave, think heaven is a rave and rave is so much better with other people. Peoples past don’t bother me because I have one myself, who they are now is what is interesting.
My journey with God is much like my thought process, rarely in a straight line; I have no idea what’s coming next. I’m working on it, he’s working on it……I need a coffee.
First published 7th June 2013